Kindness

Bless Her Heart

DrJayCook Christian Life, Gossip, Kindness , , , , , ,

“Bless her heart!”

Have you heard that said?  Have you ever said it?

We Southerners have tried to turn gossip into an art form.  We say what we want and then pretend like we really care about the person or situation.

BUT – how do you like it when others gossip about you?  What does it say about the gossiper?  How do you think others feel when you gossip about them?  What does it say about you when you gossip?

I had a lady once tell me that she doesn’t gossip; she talks about things that matter to her.  She did not realize that she was considered a major gossiper, though.

It used to be that when someone talked about other people, it was face-to-face.  Today, we do it through texts and social media as much if not more than we used to do it.  It has become far more common, which means it hurts far more than it did.  It is not ok.

Proverbs 11:13 states, “A gossip goes around revealing a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.”  Proverbs 20:19 states, “The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid someone with a big mouth.”  Proverbs 26:20 states, “Without wood, fire goes out; without a gossip, conflict dies down.”

A good rule of thumb is to consider that if we talk about something to a person who is not part of the problem or part of the solution, we are probably gossiping.  And if you are a Christian, gossip is not ok.  If you are not a Christian, gossip also is not ok.

So what should we do?

Well, do not do it.  That is simple enough to understand (though we may find it hard to control the tongue).

Also, do not listen.  Either leave the conversation or the room.  Make it clear that you want nothing to do with it.

Also, stop the conversation right there.  As someone begins to “share,” stop them and ask them to go with you to the target of the gossip to let them know what is being said by “others.”

Gossip destroys – plain and simple.  It destroys relationships.  It destroys businesses.  It destroys churches.  It can even destroy someone’s life.

I want to encourage you to help me break the pattern.  Instead of camouflaging our gossip with a “bless her heart,” let us be the ones who actually do bless others’ hearts.

If you want to get more ideas, click the picture below for a suggested resource…

Kindness Could Make a Comeback

DrJayCook Christian Life, Culture, Kindness , , ,

What is going on in our world?

People can be mean.  Many people are mean.

Every year as election time nears, the level of unkindness seems to get higher and higher.  It is not because of one political party.  It comes from all sides, and it is ugly.  It is not right.

However, it is not just found in the political scene.  It is everywhere – sporting events, classrooms, offices, playgrounds, churches, stores, homes, roadways…  Too many people do not consider kindness to be important.

Perhaps our busyness causes us to ignore opportunities to be kind.  Perhaps technology leads us to rely on impersonal interactions.  Perhaps greed and self-centeredness cause us to focus on what we want above all else.  Perhaps we raise our children in a different way.  Whatever the cause or causes, kindness is a lost art, but it is an art that desperately needs to be readapted.

In Galatians 6:9 we read: “Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.”

For many of us, we do not have to worry about getting tired of doing good.  We are satisfied with doing whatever we want to do and then complain because life is harsh.

For those who claim Jesus as Lord and Savior, kindness is not an option.  It is part of the Fruit of the Spirit – which means that if the Spirit dwells in you, so should/must kindness.

We must remember what we are told in Ephesians 4:31-32: “Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice.  And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”

The first part of that passage sounds descriptive of our society (bitterness, anger, wrath, shouting, slander, and malice), does it not?  Yet that is what we must remove, get rid of, and refuse to allow.

The second part of that passage sounds descriptive of those who make a positive impact on lives and leave positive memories (kind, compassionate, and forgive), does it not?  Every one of us wants others to treat us in that way.  But do we treat others in that way?

Kindness is not an option.

If I dream hard enough, I can envision a world where we are kind – treating each other the way we want to be treated – living in a way that honors the God who saves us.

I vote for turning that dream into reality.

The following resource prompted MANY people to look at kindness in a different light – one that touched others powerfully. Click the picture to find out more…