Bless Her Heart

“Bless her heart!”

Have you heard that said?  Have you ever said it?

We Southerners have tried to turn gossip into an art form.  We say what we want and then pretend like we really care about the person or situation.

BUT – how do you like it when others gossip about you?  What does it say about the gossiper?  How do you think others feel when you gossip about them?  What does it say about you when you gossip?

I had a lady once tell me that she doesn’t gossip; she talks about things that matter to her.  She did not realize that she was considered a major gossiper, though.

It used to be that when someone talked about other people, it was face-to-face.  Today, we do it through texts and social media as much if not more than we used to do it.  It has become far more common, which means it hurts far more than it did.  It is not ok.

Proverbs 11:13 states, “A gossip goes around revealing a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.”  Proverbs 20:19 states, “The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid someone with a big mouth.”  Proverbs 26:20 states, “Without wood, fire goes out; without a gossip, conflict dies down.”

A good rule of thumb is to consider that if we talk about something to a person who is not part of the problem or part of the solution, we are probably gossiping.  And if you are a Christian, gossip is not ok.  If you are not a Christian, gossip also is not ok.

So what should we do?

Well, do not do it.  That is simple enough to understand (though we may find it hard to control the tongue).

Also, do not listen.  Either leave the conversation or the room.  Make it clear that you want nothing to do with it.

Also, stop the conversation right there.  As someone begins to “share,” stop them and ask them to go with you to the target of the gossip to let them know what is being said by “others.”

Gossip destroys – plain and simple.  It destroys relationships.  It destroys businesses.  It destroys churches.  It can even destroy someone’s life.

I want to encourage you to help me break the pattern.  Instead of camouflaging our gossip with a “bless her heart,” let us be the ones who actually do bless others’ hearts.

If you want to get more ideas, click the picture below for a suggested resource…

Yes-Yes-No-No

We regularly hear promises made that are never kept.

“If elected, I will do this or that.”  “We stand by our merchandise.”  “I will help you do it.”  “I am going to get my life in order.”  “Till death do us part.”  “I will pay you back.”  “I am going to get my family back in church.”

Broken promises seem common place to the point that we often expect them.  Though we may be disappointed, we are not surprised when it happens.  But are you guilty of it?  Is it really a big deal?

Yes, it is.  God deals with the issue over and over in the Bible.

Leviticus 19:12 states: “Do not swear falsely by my name, profaning the name of your God; I am the Lord.”

Numbers 30:2 states: “When a man makes a vow to the LORD or swears an oath to put himself under an obligation, he must not break his word; he must do whatever he has promised.”

Deuteronomy 23:23 states: “Be careful to do whatever comes from your lips, because you have freely vowed what you promised to the LORD your God.”

Matthew 5:37 states: “Let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no.’  Anything more than this is from the evil one.”

James 5:12 states: “Above all, my brothers ad sisters, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath.  But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no,’ so that you won’t fall under judgment.”

Those are but a few of the examples found throughout the Bible.  God is trustworthy.  He keeps his word, and he expects us to do the same.

I do no believe that any of us want to have a promise broken towards us.  It causes us to not trust the offender.  It causes us to hold onto a bit of anger.  It causes us to doubt others.

Though we know the hurtful experience of having a promise broken to us, do we honestly think about it when we break promises?  Do we realize that others now see us like we see them?  Do we care that it affects our character?

My friends, let your “yes” be “yes.”  Let your “no” be “no.”  It may not be easy, but it is right.  It will strengthen relationships.  It will honor God.

And would it not be nice?

Consider the following resource for more insight…