Author: DrJayCook

Bless Her Heart

DrJayCook Christian Life, Gossip, Kindness , , , , , ,

“Bless her heart!”

Have you heard that said?  Have you ever said it?

We Southerners have tried to turn gossip into an art form.  We say what we want and then pretend like we really care about the person or situation.

BUT – how do you like it when others gossip about you?  What does it say about the gossiper?  How do you think others feel when you gossip about them?  What does it say about you when you gossip?

I had a lady once tell me that she doesn’t gossip; she talks about things that matter to her.  She did not realize that she was considered a major gossiper, though.

It used to be that when someone talked about other people, it was face-to-face.  Today, we do it through texts and social media as much if not more than we used to do it.  It has become far more common, which means it hurts far more than it did.  It is not ok.

Proverbs 11:13 states, “A gossip goes around revealing a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.”  Proverbs 20:19 states, “The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid someone with a big mouth.”  Proverbs 26:20 states, “Without wood, fire goes out; without a gossip, conflict dies down.”

A good rule of thumb is to consider that if we talk about something to a person who is not part of the problem or part of the solution, we are probably gossiping.  And if you are a Christian, gossip is not ok.  If you are not a Christian, gossip also is not ok.

So what should we do?

Well, do not do it.  That is simple enough to understand (though we may find it hard to control the tongue).

Also, do not listen.  Either leave the conversation or the room.  Make it clear that you want nothing to do with it.

Also, stop the conversation right there.  As someone begins to “share,” stop them and ask them to go with you to the target of the gossip to let them know what is being said by “others.”

Gossip destroys – plain and simple.  It destroys relationships.  It destroys businesses.  It destroys churches.  It can even destroy someone’s life.

I want to encourage you to help me break the pattern.  Instead of camouflaging our gossip with a “bless her heart,” let us be the ones who actually do bless others’ hearts.

If you want to get more ideas, click the picture below for a suggested resource…

What Is Strength?

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I can say whatever I want, regardless of whom it hurts.  I can force my way on others.  I can use brute force when it feels right.  I do not listen to anyone.

Is that it?  Or is that a façade of strength when it is actually foolishness?

I do not believe that anyone wants to lack strength, but it often is elusive.

Billions of people live under cruel and oppressive governments – they have no control.  Millions of people live as refugees because their former lives were unbearable – they have no control.  Millions of people took the wrong path and became addicts – they now have no control.  Countless people are constantly bullied (and with social media, it is relentless) – they have no control.  People live with the effects of lies and deception by cruel people – they have no control.  Health issues arise – and there seems to be no control.

Where is the strength we need?

Do our circumstances dictate our strength?  Or is there an anchor that can give us the needed strength?

The Apostle Paul discovered that no matter what he faced (and he faced a lot), God is greater.  He stated in 2 Corinthians 12:9: “The Lord said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.’  Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.”

That is not an easy concept to grasp.  We do not want to admit weakness.

However, that may be our problem.  We tend to pretend to be who we are not.  Instead, we should be honest about our reality and our needs.

I love how the prophet Isaiah put it in Isaiah 40:29-31: “He gives strength to the faint and strengthens the powerless.  Youths may become faint and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not faint.”

God never promised to take away our troubles.  He did promise to help us through them.  And when He does, we find the strength we need.

On top of that, He designed His church to be a place to find support and strength from others who share our journey.

Please do not fake strength.  Please do not seek strength in yourself.  Find true strength in the One who IS strength.

The following resource is a devotional book that anyone can benefit from. Click the picture to discover more…

Kindness Could Make a Comeback

DrJayCook Christian Life, Culture, Kindness , , ,

What is going on in our world?

People can be mean.  Many people are mean.

Every year as election time nears, the level of unkindness seems to get higher and higher.  It is not because of one political party.  It comes from all sides, and it is ugly.  It is not right.

However, it is not just found in the political scene.  It is everywhere – sporting events, classrooms, offices, playgrounds, churches, stores, homes, roadways…  Too many people do not consider kindness to be important.

Perhaps our busyness causes us to ignore opportunities to be kind.  Perhaps technology leads us to rely on impersonal interactions.  Perhaps greed and self-centeredness cause us to focus on what we want above all else.  Perhaps we raise our children in a different way.  Whatever the cause or causes, kindness is a lost art, but it is an art that desperately needs to be readapted.

In Galatians 6:9 we read: “Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.”

For many of us, we do not have to worry about getting tired of doing good.  We are satisfied with doing whatever we want to do and then complain because life is harsh.

For those who claim Jesus as Lord and Savior, kindness is not an option.  It is part of the Fruit of the Spirit – which means that if the Spirit dwells in you, so should/must kindness.

We must remember what we are told in Ephesians 4:31-32: “Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice.  And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”

The first part of that passage sounds descriptive of our society (bitterness, anger, wrath, shouting, slander, and malice), does it not?  Yet that is what we must remove, get rid of, and refuse to allow.

The second part of that passage sounds descriptive of those who make a positive impact on lives and leave positive memories (kind, compassionate, and forgive), does it not?  Every one of us wants others to treat us in that way.  But do we treat others in that way?

Kindness is not an option.

If I dream hard enough, I can envision a world where we are kind – treating each other the way we want to be treated – living in a way that honors the God who saves us.

I vote for turning that dream into reality.

The following resource prompted MANY people to look at kindness in a different light – one that touched others powerfully. Click the picture to find out more…

The Big Deal about Labor Day

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Labor Day is Monday.  What do you have planned?  What does it mean to you?

Back in the late 1800’s, labor activities pushed for a holiday to recognize the importance of workers in shaping and sustaining America.  They recognized the importance of “work” and wanted the nation to recognize it as well.

Today, many people may have the wrong idea about work.  Some see work as a burden, and some think it is an outcome of Adam and Eve’s original sin.  Some see work as a five-day drudgery leading to a weekend, and some see it as completely separate from what one does on Sundays.

For those of us who claim faith in Jesus, work is completely different (or should be).

God’s original plan for us included work; Adam and Eve were tasked with taking care of the Garden of Eden.  God is the Creator, and He continues to work today; He expects His followers to be like Him in this. Therefore, work is a form of worship.  Our work should point others to God because everything we do should point others to Him.

In your work (at a job, at school, around the house…), do you point others to God?  Do you show gratitude?  Do you imitate Jesus?  Do you serve others?

We read in Colossians 3:23: “Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people.”  Whatever you do…  Work has a much bigger purpose than just getting a paycheck.  Work should be part of our living by faith.  Our work should demonstrate the integrity of God that we should show.  Our work should make a difference no matter what it is.

Billy Graham once said that he believed the next great awakening (the next revival that spreads across the nation) will probably occur in the workplace.  That makes total sense when you look at where our churches are.  Fewer people are attending and participating in churches today, but our population is increasing steadily.  The world is not in our church buildings.  The world is everywhere we are – including at work.

So this Labor Day, I hope you enjoy a break.  But I also hope you will recognize the blessing and opportunity that work gives us to make a difference and change our world.  Do it “for the Lord.”  It was and is His plan.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

DrJayCook Christian Life , , , , ,

Ready or not, it is time.  Get the school colors out, and dust off the stadium seats.  Oh, and apparently stock up on water bottles.  Man, it is hot!

Football is obviously loved, supported, and debated in the South.  And what I find interesting is that we can learn a lot from the game.

Consider Coach Vince Lombardi – way back when he coached the Green Bay Packers.  In 1961 they lost the big game even though they had been ahead.  When they got back together to prepare for the season, those professional football players were ready to pick up where they had left off.  But Lombardi stood up, held up a football, and put them in their place by saying, “Gentlemen, this is a football.”

He understood that the only way to be prepared was to get back to the basics.  They had to keep the main thing as the main thing.  Skills, teamwork, and strength are important, but they will come with time; and they are useless without focus.

And that is true in life, is it not?

No one makes it to Sports Center without a long road that got them there.  The fundamentals have to be practiced, honed, and never abandoned.  The basics must be ingrained, and then success comes.

Jesus made our fundamentals clear.  There is an internal focus and an external focus that we must master in life.

Internally, Jesus said in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.”  Externally, He told us in Matthew 28:18-20, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.  Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the So and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you.  And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Have you mastered those things?  Are you daily working on them?

Seek God’s kingdom above all else.  Seek to live like He wants you to.  That is what we have to do if we want God to bless our lives.

Make disciples everywhere you go.  Help others know Jesus and grow in Him.  That is what we have to do with everyone we can. There are plenty of other things we can do (and often should do), but nothing matters as much as doing what God wants us to do.  Nothing should keep us from doing what God wants us to do.  This is the football.  This is our “basics.”  This is our challenge.  Let’s go!

MacArthur wrote a great book on some of the fundamentals of the faith. Click the picture below to check it out for yourself…

I Cannot See It

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Do you remember Bob Ross painting on PBS?

He created amazing paintings and made it look easy.  You may remember one of his famous sayings: “There are no mistakes, just happy accidents.”  Put a blob of paint on the canvas, and he would turn it into a beautiful tree, mountain, or other item.

Bob could see the big picture.

My dad and I loved to hunt.  One morning in a new area, he left me on a ridge.  It was freezing, I was young, and I thought I would feel better if I was walking.  I was sure that I knew the layout of the land (that I had never explored), so I set off.  You can imagine what happened.  I lost my way.  I could not determine where I was.  I saw trees everywhere, but I could not see where I was.  I guess I could not see the forest for the trees.

Life is like that.  We are plodding along, dealing with one issue at a time, and never seeing the big picture.  We travel so far that we lose our bearing, and we do not know where to go or what to do.

There have been plenty of times when I have dealt with schemes of people with evil intentions, and it seemed like their schemes had destroyed the plans that I did have.  But when I have trusted God, He always proved faithful.  Things turned out like Joseph stated to his brothers in Genesis 50:20: “‘You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result – the survival of many people.’”

So, why do we not trust Him more?  Why do we not remember His faithfulness when we need Him most?  Do we not remember the promise He made to Israel (which still lines up with His character today)?  “‘For I know the plans I have for you’ – this is the LORD’s declaration – ‘plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’” (Jeremiah 29:11)

The big picture is not easy to see when you are surrounded by trees.  The mistakes do not look like happy accidents when you are dealing with the pain.  But God is faithful; He never breaks His word, and He is not going to start with you.

I finally walked out of the woods into a clearing – not knowing where I was.  And then I heard a whistle.  My father’s whistle.  I was no longer lost.  I was no longer alone.  I was SO happy.

And it never fails.  No matter how thick or dark the woods may seem.  My Heavenly Father’s whistle always guides me to safety – to a future and a hope.

Your path may not be clear.  But He is there.  Trust Him.

Check out the following resource to find out more. Click the picture to see for yourself…

Routines That Are Not Routine

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I had to start walking, take proper nutrients, and eat correctly to lose the weight.  I had to read and listen to podcasts to learn.  I had to start doing things to learn (and maybe master) those things.  I had to make certain activities a routine part of my life to see change.

For many, life is nothing but a routine.  We do the same things, the same ways, the same time, and wonder why life can be depressing.  But what if life could be more?  What if life could be amazing?

In John 10:10, Jesus said, “I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.”  THAT is the kind of life that I’m talking about.  It’s the kind of life that (I believe) everyone wants.  Abundant life.  Meaningful life.  Purposeful life.

However, it isn’t going to happen until our routines line up.

Jesus also told us what it means to live the kind of life that we all want (deep down).  He said in Luke 9:23, “If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

To follow after him, you have to choose to accept him as your Lord and Savior.  He is not going to force you to do it, he does not give salvation willy-nilly, and he said that you have to choose to do it.  He has to enter your life – your routines.

Jesus also must become your chief aim.  He must come first.  He does not deserve or accept leftovers, but that is what we often given him.  We work Monday through Friday, get stuff done on Saturdays, and are wiped out on Sundays – so, we often put ourselves first and “skip” worshiping and serving him.  However, the truth is that you choose what comes first in your life.  You choose.

To be first, we have to deny ourselves.  He cannot be first if we keep jumping in front of him.  Paul (in Galatians 2:20) explained it like this: “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”  After all, if we know that Jesus wants what is best, we should realize that our schemes do not lead to the best.

Ultimately, the routines get changed when we seriously accept our responsibilities to Jesus.  He said that his mission was to provide the way to be saved, so he faced the cross and died because of our guilt to offer that salvation.  Our cross – our responsibility is to be willing to give our all to the one who gave his all.  And that includes being willing to do whatever he desires – daily.

Getting what you desire takes effort.  It requires a change in routines.  So, if you want to get what is most important in life, Jesus becomes the aim.  Will you choose what’s best?

Need some help in forming the right routines? Click the picture below to see a great resource…

Ready for the School Year

DrJayCook School , , , ,

It’s already time for another school year.  I am always amazed at how fast summers seem to pass.  Just when a rhythm sets in, your whole schedule must change again.

I have one in high school and one in college.  My desire for them is what I hope is your desire for yours.  In fact, may I share three things that I want for our kids?

“Be a good student.”

We are blessed to have an educational system that can prepare our children for the future.  Of course, nothing is perfect, and there are always ways that we can improve.  However, most of the world does not have anything like we have.

When you are young, you do not always see the advantages of school; but we should.  And we should help our kids understand how important it is to work with the system.

I am reminded that Proverbs 1:8-9 says, “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching, for they will be a garland of favor on your head and pendants around your neck.”  And 1 Peter 2:13 says, “Submit to every human authority because of the Lord.”

Our children need to understand that authorities can help or discipline us.  We can ask for trouble or seek rewards.  I think you know what we should do.

“Don’t follow the crowd in the wrong direction.”

I would have my head in the sand if I did not realize the pressures that our children face.  They are bombarded by a culture that is bent on selfishness, division, and sin.  No matter how much time we can spend with them, they spend a lot of their days with people who are not looking out for their best interests.

We need to remind them of some truths.  Proverbs 1:10 states: “My son, if sinners entice you, don’t be persuaded.”  1 Corinthians 15:33 states: “Do not be deceived, ‘Bad company corrupts good morals.’”

It is not only OK to keep an eye on our children.  It is vital that we do.

“Make sure that Jesus comes first.”

If you are a Christian, you know this.  If you are not, I encourage you to seek Him.

1 Peter 3:15 reminds us of the focus we should have: “in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, ready at any time to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.”

School is important, but our most important education is grounded in Jesus.  He is the only one who can make you a better person and give you hope.  Our children desperately need to know that.

Honestly, we all need to know that.  So, let me encourage you to not only help your children start the school year in the right way.  Let us all start anew in making the rest of our life aimed toward the right way.

Yes-Yes-No-No

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We regularly hear promises made that are never kept.

“If elected, I will do this or that.”  “We stand by our merchandise.”  “I will help you do it.”  “I am going to get my life in order.”  “Till death do us part.”  “I will pay you back.”  “I am going to get my family back in church.”

Broken promises seem common place to the point that we often expect them.  Though we may be disappointed, we are not surprised when it happens.  But are you guilty of it?  Is it really a big deal?

Yes, it is.  God deals with the issue over and over in the Bible.

Leviticus 19:12 states: “Do not swear falsely by my name, profaning the name of your God; I am the Lord.”

Numbers 30:2 states: “When a man makes a vow to the LORD or swears an oath to put himself under an obligation, he must not break his word; he must do whatever he has promised.”

Deuteronomy 23:23 states: “Be careful to do whatever comes from your lips, because you have freely vowed what you promised to the LORD your God.”

Matthew 5:37 states: “Let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no.’  Anything more than this is from the evil one.”

James 5:12 states: “Above all, my brothers ad sisters, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath.  But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no,’ so that you won’t fall under judgment.”

Those are but a few of the examples found throughout the Bible.  God is trustworthy.  He keeps his word, and he expects us to do the same.

I do no believe that any of us want to have a promise broken towards us.  It causes us to not trust the offender.  It causes us to hold onto a bit of anger.  It causes us to doubt others.

Though we know the hurtful experience of having a promise broken to us, do we honestly think about it when we break promises?  Do we realize that others now see us like we see them?  Do we care that it affects our character?

My friends, let your “yes” be “yes.”  Let your “no” be “no.”  It may not be easy, but it is right.  It will strengthen relationships.  It will honor God.

And would it not be nice?

Consider the following resource for more insight…

I Didn’t Expect That!

DrJayCook Uncategorized , , ,

What do you do when you did not know what you would face?

I did not know that I would crash my bike. I did not know that my father would have Alzheimer’s. I did not know that Covid was coming. I did not know that the economy would be like a rollercoaster. I have not known a lot of things.

Many people tend to roll with the punches. Many people tend to withdraw and let fear control them. Many people tend to pretend that the unexpected never happened. But what do you do?

Whether we like it or not, we cannot anticipate the unexpected. We can prepare for what we know will happen, but we cannot prepare for something that we did not know was coming. It is like James stated (in James 4:13-14): “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’ – yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

Living on the coast for several years, I learned that you must prepare if a storm was coming. You must anchor things down. You must ensure you have done all you can to keep safe.

Life in general is like that. We know that “storms” are coming, so we must be prepared as best we can. We cannot pretend that life will have no problems. We cannot stop living because of our fears. We must roll with the punches.

My friends, please remember that even though we do not know what tomorrow will bring, God knows. Psalm 139 reminds us that he knows you, what you do, and your future. He knows.

Because God knows, we must find out what he desires. We must accept his truth. We must trust him. We must remember (as Ephesians 3:20 states) that he is the one “who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us.”

Also, remember that he not only knows you, he loves you. As his child (if you have accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior), you can face whatever tomorrow brings. So – let us face tomorrow with anticipation!

You may want to consider the following resource for added insight – click the picture to find out more…